Stop Apologizing
I’m sorry… two words that I was once so attached to. It’s something that I would say if I made a mistake or wanted to make sure someone knew how much I appreciated their help. Most of the time, I found myself apologizing simply out of habit. Why do we always feel the need to apologize for such silly things? If we didn’t make the mistake on purpose, or do anything wrong, then what is there to be sorry about?
Now of course if you hurt someones feelings or have done something malicious, then yeah a “Sorry” wouldn’t hurt. HOWEVER— If you find yourself apologizing when someone is holding the door open for you (We all do it), you’re probably guilty of over apologizing.
My mentality used to be, “If I express how sorry I am, then they won’t get mad at me!” or “I don’t want to seem like I’m inconveniencing anyone.”, which is really just putting the blame on yourself before anyone can even form a genuine opinion in the first place. We subconsciously create these scenarios in our heads that make us feel like we owe everybody an apology, when in reality, we just have to be more accepting and find our voice. There are tons of other phrases that you can say instead of “I’m Sorry”, that won’t only make you feel better about the situation, but will also give off a charming and confident attitude to others as well. Here’s a few phrases that have helped me overcome my case of excessive apologizing— You can do it too!
“Thank you.”
Picture this: You’ve just opened up your computer and find an email from either a teacher, co-worker, or superior, critiquing something that you may have worked on. Perhaps they weren’t all that satisfied with the work you presented, and maybe it wasn’t quite up to par within their standards. The email reads, “Hello, Shaniah. The date and time is incorrect in your article for tomorrows event. Please revise and send again when you get a chance.”
Now, back in the day, the old Shaniah would reply to that email with 100 sorries and panicked for about an hour. But I’ve learned that in this kind of situation, “Sorry” can actually weaken your character. You can still acknowledge the mistake while remaining self-assured and providing gratitude. Instead of saying, “Im sorry”, Try these on for size:
“Will do! Thank you for bringing that to my attention.”
“Absolutely. Thanks for pointing that out.”
“Glad you caught that! I’ll send it over soon.”
“No worries, I’ll adjust that now. Thank you!
Of course, apologies are not just for professional scenarios. Even just going to the grocery store, out to dinner, or even at home, we are tempted to apologize for the smallest things! Here are a few more ways to cut the “S” word out of your vocabulary:
“I appreciate your feedback.” When you’re getting a critique.
“Thank you for your patience.” When you’re late to a gathering/meeting.
“Pardon me.” When you add an opinion.
Alright, so you get the idea. Don’t get me wrong, I know that not apologizing is a very hard habit to kickstart. I still slip up here and there, and am working on it. We’re only human, and are just trying to be polite after all. My general rule of thumb to get used to not saying it, is that whenever you feel yourself about to start apologizing— Say “Thank you” instead. At best, everyone loves to be thanked! Go conquer it, and best of luck to all of you on your new journey.
OH! And most importantly, never EVER apologize for being your authentic self.
Xoxo
